snehasophy

This is for all those who seek the joy in little things !


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Dreamcatchers 

They say dream catchers keep away the bad dreams.

The nightmares that don’t let you sleep. Leave you twisting in fright.

But what about the nightmares you live everyday.

No, not the ones that lurk in the darkness, hidden below your pillows.

The ones that stare at you in the eye in broad daylight.

Like the time you were called a randi for wearing shorts on the streets.

When unknown fingers traced their way along your thighs.

When they tried to pry them open by force.

Or how about the time, when you were denied that promotion because you had a vagina.

How they squeezed every last bit of life out of you, but stole your reward.

How they snatched your dreams and trampled on it.

Or wait.

How about the time your uncle PLAYED with you, when you were too young to understand?

And the shame, the guilt and the anger that followed, all the years after!

That once when you were marked unclean, because obviously God didn’t like bleeding women.

All the times you were taken for granted. Your voice shut out.

The days when your boyfriend thought it’s okay to vent out on you. Just, leave a mark or two. After all, you could just cover it with a little foundation here and concealer there.

Or that time, when your husband raped you and everyone you told thought it’s OK.

What about these nightmares?

What about the false promises and hurtful words?

What about the scars that they left on your skin, reminding you of your helplessness?

Will the dream catcher take them away too?

Will it?


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To Change Or Not To Change

I was never like other people.

The world always looked upside down to me.

I saw colours even with closed eyes.

I chose to see the good in people even when it hurt.

I chose to hold on, give a chance even when they didn’t deserve it.

But I guess it’s time I changed. I guess it’s time to let go.

Maybe the world needs to see a different me now.

Maybe it’s time to do what the rest of them do, blind myself, numb myself and just not care anymore.

Let the sands slip through my fingers and forget what it felt like, to be alive. Maybe…

 

Picture Credits: Haranish Mehta.


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Love Again.

It hurts so much that you don’t know what to do. The pain blinds you. You can barely remember you’re alive. Yet you walk around with a smile stitched on to your lips. Telling people you’re okay, when you’re not. Crying into your pillows when no one can see you. Tearing away scribbled letters, that were never posted. Typing messages on your phone that will never be sent. Swallowing in the anger, the disappointment. Staring into the sky and hating the stars because all they did was remind you of that one person.

The sight of others in love begins to repel you. Oh and love songs are a big no-no! Some days you feel anger for yourself. How couldn’t you see it coming? What you did wrong? Somedays it’s pity. You feel sorry for yourself. You look into the mirror and you can’t bear to look at yourself without tears streaking your cheeks. Then you begin pushing away the dreams. Burying every last bit of emotion, just so you don’t feel that crushing pain again.

Building walls because you don’t ever want to feel vulnerable again. You cross your heart & train your mind to look away if it gets remotely attached to someone! You slowly turn into the demon that you dreaded all along. You push everyone away because you can’t bear the thought of them leaving too. At your lowest days you wish you had someone, but then you say you’re better off alone. Then one day you stop mourning your loss. It stops hurting as much as it did. You don’t cry thinking about it now. Your words aren’t as bitter.

Somewhere along the line, you begin to forget what it felt like. The love, the care. The way your heart beat when your lips met. Those days that turned into nights endlessly with them by your side. You try to remember why you held that anger, but you can’t quite remember.

Then when we least expect it, comes someone who is patient enough to tear down your walls. To look into your eyes and see all your bruises. To hold you when you aren’t strong enough to face the world alone. Someone who tells you stories and makes you believe in magic again. Someone who’s voice makes you smile in the middle of the night. Someone who pushes you to be your best. Someone who tells you that you are beautiful on your worst days. Just like that, you know you were meant to be. Just like that, it’s all okay.

And just like that, one day you look at the sky, and the stars look beautiful once again! 🙂


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What is a Perfect moment ?

The idea of experiencing a perfect setup always seems to scare us. Mostly because we think that they are just fantasies , and however hard we try they cannot come true . And given our busy lives , the thought of these ‘perfect moments ‘ appear to be tedious .But if only for a moment we stepped back , slowed down , took a deep breath and observed a little  ;we’l see that these moments are all around us  . A perfect moment does not exactly mean a “happy ” moment . They are made up of all those moments when our emotions are inexplicable . When we are so consumed and overwhelmed by the sight of what we see , that we are dumbstruck and short of breadth and words !

It could be when you fall in love and feel the world spin around you  …. It could be when you loose a loved one and there is nothing that can console you …It could be when you earn your first salary  …..or when you loose everything you have and your whole life feels empty .!

All these times don’t resemble each other in any way .But these are the times when you discover yourself , and see your emotional barriers fade away . These times make you vulnerable again and surrender to the moment . And in spite of any emotion they may evoke , they are complete and full of inspiration  . That is why i call them “perfect ”

 

And here’s a lil poem i wrote to tell you just that ….

 

PERFECT MOMENTS

Somewhere in this little miserable life of ours ,

Come moments that are priceless;

Moments that define us .

They build around us ‘our’ story , as we know it to be.

These moments need not be out of the ordinary

They need not be compared to definitions of grandeur …

They are hidden in the simplest of things and

They await to be discovered in the midst of everyday burdens .

It could be , when you see the sun go down as you hang by a thread in a Mumbai local !

When you smile at the little girl ,selling roses at the signal ,

Or when you feel the cold wind gush against your face ,through the sunroof of your car .

When you notice wrinkles form around your eyes, but you still ‘know’ you’re beautiful !

When you dance away the night and want to dance some more at dawn .

When tears are the only things that can put you to sleep at night ,

And drowning yourself in work seems the only way to forget….

When you kiss someone for the first time and you feel your lips tremble against theirs

And when seeing that one person smile is all that matters anymore .

When one day you realize that you can speak a million words in silence ,but

A million words fall short of proclaiming the beauty of a moment shared .

These moments make all the difference ,

And a fraction of a second is all it takes to spot these perfect moments.

These are the chosen moments that are void of all imperfections

These moments are what make you ;

You !